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A statement from Nigel Evans MP Deputy Speaker, House of Commons

After the recent shocking discovery by local school children, rumours of an ancient dragon being held captive in a factory in the Ribble Valley are growing by the day. The author of 'The Best-Kept Secret' approached Nigel Evans MP for an official statement.


Nigel Evans MP and former Prime Minister Boris Johnson assure us that the townsfolk have nothing to worry about, believing there must be a rational explanation. However, Boris Johnson's father, Stanley, is a 'firm believer'.

What was a home built with love to keep Our Kid from harm,

Is now a giant jail cell, locked, guarded and alarmed.


Over the years the story’s changed to fit in with the times:

‘It’s farmers burning crops’ or ‘it’s gases down the mines’.


Now, they swear blind it’s just a regular cement factory

But this dubious cover story is far from satisfactory.


Those trains that are loaded and rumble through the night?

Freight trains, whisking dragon poo to a top-secret site.


(With many thanks to Nigel Evans for entering into the spirit of the story!)



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